Instant Messenger (IM) Sample Session

"S says"; is Somebody (client) -- a typical DID client with AbuseConsultants.com . This person has had regular appointments for a lengthy period of time, so much of the history and info gathering is not demonstrated in this session.

"K says"; is Kathy, the clinical director of AbuseConsultants.com

This sample IM is made from various chunks of one 2 hour IM session with Somebody. All the identifying information has been totally removed. Several of the specific details about the trauma issues have not been included to minimize the risk of triggering content. However, I have included some entry level memory processing work as an example for those who need to process memory issues. There is an element of difficult or triggering work discussed in the session, so prepare yourself as necessary.

Remember, in an IM session, the exchange happens very fast, and there's no time for well-thought out, polished responses per se, like there is with the e-mail consultation. The IM process needs less grammar and specific sentence structure at the time, as it is a moving and flowing conversation, similar to speaking back and forth.

A few minutes into the session:

S says: We almost lost it when we went over a week without a computer and not online

K says: yeah, your computer is a big, big, big part of your life right now, isn't it

S says: well yes...it is. It's all we have.

K says: it keeps you connected with the world and to others in a way like nothing ever has --- it actually feels safe for most all in the system

S says: yes

K says: It keeps you from being so alone in the world.
K says: I'm so very very glad you have one.

S says: yes, its all we have

K says: hang on tight to it then...

S says: oh yes

K says: isn't that nice?? It's good to have a safe way to stay connected to other people.

S says: hey u

K says: hey u what

S says: u know

K says: you're switching around over there, aren't you?!
K says: hello to u too

S says: going back to read what has been said already

K says: u silly one.... what happened to the other inside one that was just here?
K says: I didn't even get to say bye, or have a good day, or it's been nice to talk to ya....

S says: u want to distract us

K says: from what?
K says: we can talk about something else if you want to

S says: negative stuff

K says: do you want to talk about the hard stuff already?
K says: ok, tell me about the negative stuff

S says: don't know, we are floundering....spinning, spinning inside

K says: racing???

S says: kinda

K says: switching alot??? Or a different kind of spinning?
K says: what's it like?

S says: both
S says: being hit....kinda like a spinning feeling in side, racing going on too

K says: Is it part of feeling manic too? Or is it mostly PTSD stuff?
K says: Did you get triggered by anything recently? Have any of the perpetrators called you?

S says: hard to tell.....if its fear or what ever stuff is causing what reaction

K says: When did it start?

S says: I don't really remember when they called last.....maybe a few days ago
S says: ummmmm

K says: Were you racing this bad before they called?

S says: I've had nightmares the last two nights...very, very bad ones
S says: worst I remember

K says: Yikes! Dreams about memories??? Or just weird scary nightmares???

S says: Then I met Johnny inside

K says: How did you make it thru the night?
K says: Does Johnny know about the nightmares?

S says: which one?
S says: which night?

K says: Who is Johnny to your system??? What does he do for the system?
K says: either night ---- sounds like they were both pretty rough

S says: yes they were

K says: I'm referring to getting thru the nightmares, and being safe in the morning

S says: I don't know. I met him right before I wrote about it

K says: Does he seem to be friendly???
K says: Is he a protector???

S says: We woke up. Got online. Played games.
S says: Johnny seems scared

K says: good idea --- computer games are a great way to keep your mind busy when there's those kind of things going on. Real good idea.
K says: so,,,, is Johnny a kid?? Or older???

S says: The oldest he looks is 5.
S says: scared

K says: oh, so very young still. I'm sorry he feels so scared. Did anybody inside try to comfort him, or help him feel safe???

S says: just stood by...we r scared too

K says: what is everyone so scared of???

S says: pain
S says: not physical

K says: pain about.....?

S says: understand?

K says: some folks call it emotional pain...

S says: bad stuff

K says: do you mean that trauma stuff, or heartbreak about something?
K says: what bad stuff? You can say. It's ok to tell about it now.

S says: um think first one
S says: nooo
S says: no

K says: ok.... what is making you hurt so badly?
K says: yes,,,,, ask the adult parts. It is ok for you to talk with me. Ask that tough teenager part, Jazz. It's ok. She has talked with me before.
K says: Ask Max, the protector guy. They have all talked with me, and it was ok.

S says: Max too?

K says: yes, Max has talked with me several times. He's a tough guy that knows alot about cars. I think he likes sunglasses too.

S says: I know about bad stuff

K says: ok... what kind of bad stuff
K says: There's lots of different kinds of bad stuff

S says: with the mother, the father, and an uncle
S says: and aunt

K says: ok... what do you mean?

K says: Have you been switching very much in the past few minutes?? Are your adults parts remembering what we are talking about?

S says: some yes we clearly remember

K says: it's a little harder to tell all the switching from this side of the computer, but I was thinking there have been a few
K says: it's ok... switch as often as you need to. There's no rules against it.

S says: ok good

K says: we haven't talked in awhile, so there's probably lots who need to talk

S says: u r nice

K says: I'm a goof ball that goes out to lunch all too many times!!! But thanks, I like you too.

S says: a goof ball funny

K says: yep,,, just ask Max....
K says: Jazz would probably call me something else!!!!!

S says: u no hurt

K says: right.... that's against the rules. No hurting allowed.

S says: good
S says: scared

K says: I don't like it when kids get hurt. I want kids (and adults too) to be safe from hurt.
K says: I can tell.... you are very little too. Did you know that you can be safe now?

S says: no

K says: Somebody and some of the other ones are learning about how important it is to keep you kids safe from hurt.

S says: scared

K says: Nobody ever allowed them to keep you safe before, but I've been trying to teach them about safety from the scary hurt stuff.
K says: what are you scared of?

S says: no like get hurt

K says: I will try to make it less scary for you

S says: no like hurt

K says: Getting hurt is not good. I don't like you to be hurt.
K says: I no like hurt either.

S says: no

K says: not at all, no no no.....

S says: good
S says: ok

K says: Is there somebody hurting you?
K says: It's important to tell someone if you are being hurt. That way we can make the hurt stop.

S says: no

K says: You don't have to keep secrets about being hurt anymore. It's ok to tell someone now.

S says: no now
S says: no hurt now

K says: are you remembering being hurt??

S says: scared no want hurt

K says: from a long time ago??

S says: not sure

K says: no want hurt --- that's good. You will not be hurt by me. I want to help stop you from being hurt by anyone. Hurt is not good.

S says: mean people scare Johnny. Want to run away. No can run.

K says: the time gets mixed up sometimes, doesn't it.
K says: Sometimes yesterday feels like today, and today feels like yesterday, doesn't it.

S says: yes

K says: you still feel little too, but you are in some pretty big feet!!

S says: wow

K says: They are bigger and faster feet now. Now you can get away.

S says: wow

K says: yep, them there are some great feet. You've got some good ones!!!
K says: you didn't know your feet had grown so much , did you?

S says: seem no way out

K says: that's because time has let your feet grow while you were still little inside the mind
K says: what do you mean, seem no way out?

S says: to no hurt
S says: get hurt

K says: when you were little, you were too little to get out and away from the scary hurt stuff. Now some of the inside people are big and can get away from the scary hurt.

S says: hurt
S says: scared
S says: bad

K says: you can use those big strong feet to help you stay away from hurt now.
K says: no, you are not bad.
K says: yes, you are feeling scared and hurt, but you are not bad.

S says: bad

K says: what the people did to you was bad.
K says: you are not bad

S says: bad

K says: they were wrong to hurt you and to scare you.
K says: what are you thinking about bad?

S says: I am bad
S says: no help

K says: I don't think you are bad. Why do you think you are bad?

S says: no help no one

K says: what do you mean?

S says: can no stop bad stuff

K says: I thought you were just a kid when the bad stuff happened?
K says: of course you couldn't stop the bad stuff from happening.

S says: am kid

K says: kids don't have enough resources to do that. Kids are short, they can't drive, they don't have any money to buy an army. Their feet are too little too run away.
K says: yep, I know you are a kid. Kids are too little to stop most bad stuff from happening.
K says: It takes an adult to help the kid usually.

S says: bad

K says: It takes more to stop bad stuff than a kid can do by themself without an adult helping them stop it.
K says: I still don't think you are bad. Why are you saying that?

S says: real
S says: realy
S says: no cry

K says: Right, I understand that crying was not allowed. But, most people cannot do that. Most people would cry and cry and scream when they were that scared.

S says: why

K says: yes, you have been trained from an early early age to not cry. Most people cannot do that.

S says: make bad

K says: It is more natural to cry.

S says: cry make bad
S says: hurt
S says: die

K says: they trained you. You are not bad. For the things they wanted you to do, you had to learn real hard stuff, like not crying when you are scared.

S says: scarey

K says: only around those mean adults. In other places, crying is allowed, and ok. It is part of saying sadness.

S says: ok
S says: ?
S says: get hurt
S says: die
S says: bad

K says: yes, they were making you do things in a very not normal, and very very mean world. It's not like that everywhere.
K says: what do you mean?

S says: cry get hurt
S says: die
S says: bad hurt

K says: the rule was, if you cry, you will get hurt. yes?

S says: yes

K says: the more you cry, the worse you are hurt. yes?

S says: yes
S says: bad stuf
S says: hurt

K says: that's a very sick and twisted and wrong rule for them to have.

S says: yuk

K says: ??

S says: yuck
S says: ?

K says: yuck where??

S says: cry get hurt
S says: bad stuf
S says: yuck
S says: stuff

K says: yeah, that's not nice at all. I think that is very very wrong to tell that to a kid.

S says: want to go
S says: scared

K says: you don't have to tell me if it is too scary. I won't hurt you
K says: Ask the others inside who will help protect you now

S says: scared

K says: you have done real well... it's ok. this is a different place and that yucky stuff doesn't have to happen anymore.
K says: yes, I'm sure you are very scared.

S says: no like

K says: no one will kill you for talking with me tonight.
K says: no, no like.... not right. I don't like it either. I'm not happy about what they did to you.

S says: bad

K says: you can have a little sleep if you want, to rest. You are not bad.

S says: bad inside

K says: those mean people told you lies. you are not bad, even if you drink the yucky drink
K says: they were trying to trick you into believing that. I don't think you are bad no matter what happened.

S says: wh
S says: you no think bad

K says: because, I blame those mean people. They were practicing evil, not good.
K says: evil likes to hurt children, and likes to trick children. Evil is evil. Evil is wrong and bad, not you.
K says: I no think bad.
K says: I think you were hurt and scared

S says: no like hurt

K says: I no think you bad. No No NO
K says: I no like hurt. I no like kids being hurt.

S says: no like bad

K says: I no like the bad stuff they did to you.
K says: but I like you
K says: you have been good

S says: tired

K says: you have been good to me
K says: yes, very very tired
K says: it's very late now

S says: am tired

K says: yes,,,,
K says: do you want to go have a sleep?

S says: yes
S says: scared

K says: can I type to Somebody for a minute while you go to sleep inside?

S says: but tired
S says: ok

K says: yes, but you are safe tonight.
K says: no one will hurt you tonight

S says: ok

K says: you did very very good work

S says: good

K says: ok.... let's talk again another time

S says: nite nite

K says: nite nite, Johnny.
K says: Somebody......? Are you there?

S says: hello

K says: hello.

S says: hey there

K says: How do you like that??? I asked for a switch online?!

S says: lol

K says: you've been out to lunch?? Amensiac?

S says: yeah

K says: me and the little one were having a talk

S says: out to lunchville

K says: did you see any of our conversation????

S says: no

K says: I own lunchville

S says: lol

K says: I am lunchville

S says: I am buying stock

K says: I can sell real estate in lunchville

S says: lol
S says: good deal

K says: good to see you laugh

S says: how did it go?

K says: your little one has had some real tough memory crap to deal with

S says: thought so

K says: good.... it's harder to understand just what little ones mean with typing

S says: he wasn't exactly a happy camper

K says: but, it was certainly clear enough that I got a real good idea of what you meant

S says: lol I bet
S says: did they teach this in school?

K says: someday it will be your turn to hear it.
K says: are you kidding???

S says: ok
S says: lol

K says: there were only 200 DID's when I went to school

S says: ok what should we do with Johnny?

K says: they didn't teach us anything

S says: lol right
S says: 200
S says: what now?

K says: that's because I'm as old as the hills, and I haven't finished writing the new university classes that will teach about it.

S says: lol

K says: well.... mostly just make sure that he is safe tonight.

S says: ok

K says: internally, make a comfy clean safe place for him to rest

S says: a lot going on inside

K says: yep

S says: understatement?

K says: there will be no absolutely no self harm tonight,,,, none inside, none outside, none, none, none
K says: he has to be safe internally and externally tonight.
K says: he did a real good thing by trying to process the trauma, so the system needs to protect him.

S says: ok

K says: don't let anyone try to pull the ol' perpetrator crap or punish him for talking.

S says: this stuff is hard

K says: if anyone does that tonight, I'll kick their butt

S says: lol
S says: ok
S says: definately no fun

K says: yes, but you gotta protect the kids when they tell about the trauma.
K says: no fun,,, not at all

S says: he told?

K says: he told enough.... it was in very kid language, so there were not many details, but I think I understand most of what he was saying

S says: ok good deal

K says: I wish more people were stopped. It is wrong to hurt children. The effects of abuse are so damaging
K says: that's why I have so much respect for any kid that can live thru it, and has the courage to get help
K says: yes
K says: your little Johnny is a hero
K says: he's one tough cookie
K says: Max should take some lessons

S says: I know he is scared

K says: scared, but very very brave

S says: ok
S says: can we talk again sometime?

K says: yes, we can talk again
K says: you could go back and read all the stuff we wrote tonight
K says: do you know how to save it??

S says: ok
S says: yes
S says: could we talk again sometime?

K says: I usually save these IM sessions....
K says: yes...

S says: ok cool

K says: read it tonight, or save it for later, if that would help you to be safer..... just make sure you read it at some point.

S says: ok will do

K says: Johnny may need a rest, so you don't have to read it tonight if that would be upsetting for him
K says: check with the system --- they'll tell you which way to go.

S says: ok we were going to save it
S says: read it tomorrow

K says: very good
K says: ok..... get some sleep
K says: you've done well

S says: guess that is y I am did
S says: that we r

K says: yep.... very DID.....

S says: lol

K says: I'm tired too...

S says: well its late, Kathy

K says: yep,,,, let's get some rest

S says: thank you sooooo much

K says: I'll catch ya later in the week
K says: you are soooooooo welcome

Kathy Broady, LMSW-ACP
Clinical Director