This is the famous old writing assignment of writing a letter to someone where there are unresolved issues. In this exercise, this letter is meant only for you, and it is not meant to be mailed to the person being addressed.

Write out the things you wish you either had the ability to say, or wish you had the opportunity to say. Give yourself permission to express the things you were not allowed to say at the time of the abuse, or would not have the ability to say in person.
The purpose of this letter is to increase your emotional expression and personal awareness of your deeper feelings. Although the letter is addressed to the other person, you are actually writing to yourself, in order to express healthy and appropriate emotion, and resolve some of the inner turmoil and blockage you are feeling.

A second step in this exercise is to write a reply letter to yourself from the person you just wrote to in step A.

What would they say to you in reality? What is it that you wish they would say to you?
Again, the purpose of this letter is to gain more resolution to the conflicted situation. As you express your needs and wants, you will gain greater awareness of your own feelings, you can better assimilate traumatic events by expressing appropriate emotion, and you can gain mastery over your history by providing a positive outcome to a negative experience.

A third step in this process is to write a comfort letter – or advice letter – or guidance letter – from someone you trust to yourself about this same situation.

What would your best friend or therapist or mentor say to you about the situation? How would they respond to the letters you wrote? How would they support and comfort you in your pain?
The purpose of this letter is to bring greater closure to the issue and solidify your appropriate expression of emotion with comfort, support, and healing. Remind yourself that there are people out there that care about you, that support you, that are interested in your health and well-being.

To process the information that has surfaced during this journaling exercise, click here for a clinical consultation.