They find me crying on a street corner and huddle tight around me. I scream out, "I've been raped!" One man goes to find a policeman and others begin to look about trying to see if they can spot the "guilty party."

Finally the policeman arrives and begins asking for a description. I can't describe my uncle. The officer asks how long ago it happened...ten, fifteen minutes ago? I look him straight in the eyes and say "No, it happened the first time 45 years ago, but I couldn't tell anyone then...he said he would throw me in the furnace! Please, it still hurts and my wounds haven't healed!"

People begin to walk away in disgust..... "45 years ago! Why doesn't she just forget it!"....."Yeah, nothing can be done now!"....."45 years is a long time to hold a grudge over a little piece of tail, ha ha ha..." (This from the town drunk...)

The rape(s) happened a long time ago, but it took so much from me. I lost my virginity at the age of 7, but that isn't all he took from me. He took my innocence, my childhood, my ability to trust, and my self-esteem. He took my feeling of self, and left me with a large portion of my soul missing. He caused "me" to become "we". How can anyone expect me to just "forget it"? How can anyone expect me to be able to pretend like it never happened?

Yes, it still hurts, and I know in my heart of hearts it is always going to hurt a little. No matter what. Oh, "I" have managed to learn to be "we" and live. We have taken up the battle cry of "NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!" But on days when the memories become overwhelming, and the nightmares make it seem like it all happened just moments ago, they may find me on a street corner screaming in agony, "I've been raped!"

By Sheryl of The Phoenix Factor
January 8, 2003
Posted with permission